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Mary Kate

Mary Kate Danahur
That saucy redhead from Inis Free! Mary Kate is a Taurus. Her favorite color is cranberry, and her favorite flowers are lupins. Turn-ons include bulging pockets—yes, both kinds—and a freshly opened bottle of whiskey. Turn-offs are open, running sores, in-laws, and an empty bottle of whiskey. Born a farmer's daughter, Mary Kate soon found that her way to riches wouldn't be steering a plow, but rather a plowboy...and any other man who falls victim to her considerable charms (although not so considerable as her best friend, Heather MacDonald). She hopes you'll come to visit, she hopes you enjoy her ditties, and most of all she hopes you'll give freely to the Poor Orphaned Children's Whisky Fund. Watch the pendant!



Heather MacDonald
Born in Glencoe to humble farmers, Heather grew up herding sheep and wee hieland coos (that's "cows" for you illiterate wretches!). Her father taught her the first words she ever spoke: usice beatha, Gaelic for "the water of life" (conventionally known as whisky). She prefers her men regimental and woad-free (again, for those of you who know nothing at all, woad is that stupid blue paint that you boys insist on wearing to prove you're William Wallace. It won't come out of my knickers...and yes, I wear knickers on occasion). Heather's dream is to share her bounteous charms with the world through ribald songs with her best friend Mary Kate, and to earn money for the Poor Homeless Puppies and Kittens Whisky Fund. Watch the pendant!